Random...

I'm rather bored today and i cannot be bothered with doing all the homework i'm supposed to be doing. I mean do teachers not realise i have other homework and a social life. Although tbh i dont really have one anymore. I went to drama on Friday, a gym induction yesterday and i dont know when i'll leave the house today. I'm living the life of a recluse :P

I have 218 books in my room cause i just counted them...
Thought you might like to know :)
If you havent guessed already
I love reading.
Rather geeky i know but there is nothing like a good book.
No one else in my family really reads, well my dad does at work.

Me and my dad are very similar.
We are both impaitent and have rather wild tempers.
He likes walking slightly more than i do.
We even look like each other slightly.
Apart from he has no hair.

I feel really sorry for Jade Goody.
I mean i never really liked her but i would never wish this upon anyone.
She is getting married today and peoples generosity is immense.
Mohammed Al Fied gave her a wedding dress free!

I met him once actually in the Fall of Shins at Harrods there.
I got free ice cream and it was good.
I can't remember what he looks like.
We were singing in the choir haha
Fun times!
We went to La Mirage on the way home.

La Mirage is the best chip shop in the world!
It's in Helmsdale :)
And there used to be a cool wifey there
She died tho...

And on that note this blog is over...

Why??

Today blogging is essential. I have had a shit day. Its quite high up on the shit scale to be honest.

Am i too nice?? Depends on your opinion but i'm starting to think i am just a walk over. I don't like being a walk over but i don't like being horrible to people either. Thats my problem. I take people at face value and don't listen to what people say about them. Then today the one person who i wouldn't expect to say something horrible to me did. She was telling me what someone else said about my appearance which is rich coming from her. As if i wasn't self concious enough and know this adds to my pressure to look "beautiful". I don't understand. Did she go out of her way to hurt me? Is she telling the truth?? I'll find out.

And then i got my history and my drama marks back and i don't know what i can do to get them better because i need to do better in my exams to improve from my ABBBCF to at least AAAA. It's not going to happen i don't think anyway.

Times like these i feel like giving up and then i laugh at myself because i know i'm just weak...

Holding it together...

Its hard to be the one that trys to be nice to everyone.
And other people don't help sometimes.
I mean i can't speak to everyone at the same time.
I try and spread myself around and speak to everyone.
So why do you always have to have my attention?

I like you all and just because i speak to someone else doesn't mean i like them more.
I sometimes like to socialise with other people too and maybe you should try it sometime.
Don't pretend that you are something that your not.
I can see the real you.
Why pretend?

I want my friends to be honest with me.
I am honest with you.
Don't put on a front.
I want people to laugh with, to cry with, to be me with.
So don't try to be cool in front of me cause it isn't going to work
Just be you...

Can you do that?

The most surreal dream in the world!

I had this dream a few nights ago and im copying Robert by posting it but i thought it was so surreal and random that it had to be done.

I'm at Hannah's house and we are having a wild rave. I'm dancing and then Elysia grabs my arm and asks me if i want to go outisde for fresh air.

I follow her outside and we are in the high school car park and she hands me a packet of cocaine. I then snort it! [This is not natural behaviour for me btw] I then drop it and a police car comes round the corner. The police man comes out of the car and grabs me by the throat and asks me if i am 12 and i say no! He then asks what the white powder round my nose is and i say sherbert.

He then arrests me and takes me to Hannah's house and my accordian is outside in the rain and then i cry and fall on my bum....

If you can interpret this please let me know..... :P

Le Crunch de Credit

You would think the world was going to end.

People are going crazy about money but if they stopped panicking for 2 minutes they might realise we are quite lucky.

This isnt the worst think that Britain has been through. After ww2 there was huge economic disaster and rationing was still on. What would people do if they went back to rationing? I know they would curl up in a corner and die. British people tend to overreact to the hilt.

There are so many bad things happening in the world and we are worried about our bank balance. Others are worried about where their next meal is coming from even in this country and it is them we should be focussing on. We are going to get through it and it isn't a matter of life or death.

We should focus on the here and now. Others are going to disagree with my stance but i don't care. I think we should be happy with our lot and work for tomorrow when things are going to be better.

Think about those who have nothing at all, not even a bank account to worry about. Then we can realise how lucky we are...

Fitting In

I've always found it harder than anyone else to make friends. Since the beginning. My sister can walk up to anyone and hold a conversation. Even though i may come across as confident and loud... i'm quite shy to start with.

So why is this important? Because i now feel like i finally have the best friends in the world and maybe these ones will hold onto the end unlike the others.

Sometimes i used to feel that maybe it was me that was the problem. Maybe it was my fault and i pushed people away. So i changed and became the fake Lynsey and it didn't make any difference. I always picked up the kind of people who would use me and then leave me because i aimed for the wrong kind of people.

And then i found my friends who i could be me in front of. And they weren't going to judge me for who i was. I could be crazy and do stupid things and they wouldn't think i was a freak.

We laugh about the silliest most immature friends. We throw rainbow drops at each other and laugh. But most importantly i could trust them with anything. I can be me without the worries.

Now i feel i fit in. And i'm sure they aren't gonna run out on me...