What if...?

I had an amazing conversation with my mum last night about my views on religion and moral issues and it made me realise where i stand even more.
For some this may be shocking, for others not but i do believe there is a God however sometimes it make me frown when i think of organised religion and the hypocrisy of it all.
I believe there is a God and in Christian themed ideas. However i do not believe that religion should dictate to me what is right and wrong. I need to make my own mistakes and come to own conclusions on certain issues. Because to be honest i don't really agree with everything the church believes in.

How can any have absolute morality against an issue? Maybe they are stronger than me but i want to be able to say i based my opinions on what is true to my heart and not what someone told me to do...

4th of December

In the run up to christmas i thought i would blog more regularly.
21 days till the big day and i am rather excited!
Had Special Unit concert with the wind band and it was great fun. I love to see how much joy is brought to people through music. A couple of nights ago with a choir from the school we visited a local old folks home and i was amazed at what a buzz i got from speaking to the elderly residents. There were these three ladies who struck a chord with me... they felt like the grannies i've always wanted but never had. I'm not used to that influence in my life any more but now i know how much i am missing out on. And that i want to fill my life as much as possible...
Parents evening last night which went suprisingly well :)

Quote of the day: God Bless Neville Chamberlain

And breaking news Magdalena is a lesbian( you'll only understand if you know her) :P
She is a ledge.

What am i like...

The future... that misty area that seems so far away and its not :(
In 5th year now and i've probably gone through every job in the book. Just to mention a few lawyer, actress, speech therapist, nurse, journalist etc...
Now i think i will just sleep my life away under the covers of my bed!
I mean how do you expect Lynsey, the girl who can't chose what she wants for dinner to decide on what she wants to do for the rest of her life.
This is the ideal situation i suppose...
To be a part time author/actress
Work voluntarily with the elderly
Do musical theatre
Make speeches

So if you know a job that fits this description get in touch...

English Essay

I thought i would tell you a bit about the language essay i wrote. Although the writing may not be good the theme behind it really made me think about people who go through this everyday.

Okay... so basically Erin is in the police station after she has escaped from her house. Her husband has been abusing her for months maybe years. It tells of her dreams for someone to love her and someone to look after her. She is put to a womans refuge and is allowed out on day release to the supermarket. However while there she thinks she sees her ex husband and then he comes from behind her and smashes a bottle over her head. We leave her in a coma not sure what will happen next...

Domestic Abuse can happen to anyone and thats what amazed me when i read about it on the internet to research for this essay...

Men against a woman, Woman against a man and even in same sex relationships ( even more so)

Its not something i have experienced and hope not to experience but is a problem which people need to talk about more and realise...

Its not only men who hit women...

Too many results...

I haven't blogged in rather a while...

Well got most of the NABs okay however some went not as well. Maths Prelim was absolutely nails and i only got 31% and a fecking letter to my parents. Was well not pleased. However French went slightly better however teacher has a knack of making a fool out of me and almost twice i was pushed to the brink of tears by her " what's the alphabet" routine. Iona keeps me sane though and makes me laugh a lot of the time while we laugh at almost everything that is said. Passed the history NAB by " the skin of my teeth" since when did teeth have skin grrr... So i made a face at her and she wasn't impressed. English is going okay.... Hamlet is funny. He makes me smile. Drama needs a whole paragraph just for itself...

House of Bernarda Alba is ace :D
Bernarda= Kirstie/Robert
Poncia= Heather
Angustius= Kate
Magdalena = Me
Martirio= Jean/ Debby
Amelia= Iona
Adela= Alison

And a one woman Grindall show :P

Man Alive.... Prelims and shizz

Shit Man! The words of the famous Jean Beattie which tottally apply to this situation most of Thurso High School is in.

Prelims... what are they for? To stress out pupils, make them come out in rashes, eat more food( not good when you are trying to cut out) and make you despair when you are trying to remember everything at about midnight :( Teachers are unbelievable and think that their subject is the most important and you should spend your whole weekend on that subject. I mean i don't have that many hours to spare to be perfectly honest!!

Thought i would blog about something a bit happier. Investigative drama plays actually went very well which i was suprised about. I managed to remember all my lines which was a bonus. Although i haven't mastered sitting in a skirt yet! The audience loved it... i think! Even though it lasted 2 and a half hours. It was based on the seven deadly sins and the play i wrote about was sloth. All the plays were of high quality and ranged from black comedy to physcological thriller. Shame about it is that we have to now write an essay :( Reading the House of Bernarda Alba which is pritty good to be honest and i got to read the part of the mad Granny who is locked in a cupboard, wants to get married and think a lamb is her child. So all is good on the drama front.

New history class now ! Which is okay i suppose apart from Sarah and I have to sit right at the front but i am sure the banter will be good with Jean and Hannah behind us. I need to actually start learning stuff now! 5th is shit don't do it man.

That is my wise opinion for the day xD

Isolation....

It's funny when we have those moments in life when we feel like we are completely alone. Not in a depressive way just in a " having too much time to think" way. I have hardly seen anyone these holidays and i haven't really studied that much either. Don't get me wrong i like having my own space but i love having company as well. I try and make as much a effort as posiible to speak to people but i feel like it is always me trying and sometimes there is no one there to listen. I wanted to get this off my chest as there is no point keeping everything inside me. So sorry for my rant haha :D

Mary Poppins- Edinburgh Playhouse

I went to see Mary Poppins last night and i was impressed beyond measure. If you get a chance to go and watch this take it as it is the best show i have seen so far in my life. The costumes, singing, dancing and acting were all vibrant and brilliant. Caroline Sheen who played Mary Poppins gave a stunning performance and when she flew over the audience every childs eyes in the audience lit up and so did mine i must admit. The set was astonishing and it was polished to perfection. The set was on rollers so the house would appear and open up to reveal number 17 Cherry Tree Lane. George and Winifred Banks were played convinvingly by Martin Ball( who starred in Hotel Babylon) and Louise Bowden. Last night the children were played by Niamh Coombes and Edward Cooke who suited the roles perfectly. The chidren are swapped around and there are 6 sets of children! The choreography of the ensemble was brilliant and the rooftop race nearly had me giving them a standing ovation. My sister had to pin me to my seat. Although Mary Poppins is assocaited with children i think that both adults and children alike will enjoy it. It brings a smile to the face and in some parts a tear to the eye. If your sentimental like me !

Holidays

At last the holidays have arrived on our doorstep and i was so happy to welcome them in. However along the fun and laughs that i hope this holiday are going to bring come revision and the looming november prelims which i am bricking it for. I cannot be bothered to revise but then i need to if i want to pass.

In Edinburgh just now on holiday with the family whichis going quite good so far anyway. Done so much shopping its unreal, poor Dad! Went to the Edinburgh Dungeon today which was scarier than i thought it was going to be. I grabbed on to some random woman which was quite emarrassing tobe honest. Looked in so many shops and wished i had a unlimited bank balance. Went to this very cool hippy shop and i wanted to buy these ace purple and silver trousers but my mum just laughed at me haha!

Felt the need to write a blog the now the now because i am rather bored and watching Peter Kay on the telly :P

Speak Soon xxx

Where is the Love?

This is a question i ask myself daily. Where is the love? When i take a look at the world and see all the bad things that are happening i find it hard to believe there is such a thing as love. People being stabbed on the streets, wars being fought, evil dictators hurting innocent people. Over the past week so many bad things have happened there is no room in the press for good news. The headlines feature Russian plane crash kills 88, Chinese Bus crash kills dozens, travel operators going into liquidation and so on and so forth.

There is so much gloom and doom that one could curl up in a ball and fall into a eternal slumber. That's where i come in and try and spread a smile or a laugh. Those close to me know that this comes quite naturally to me, seeing as people laugh at my actions i make everyday, accidently. If you love to recieve compliments give one, it was the same sort of feel good factor involved. Just smiling at someone even if you don't know them can make someones day.

I'm not going to change the world by smiling and making people laugh. But even if it lifts someone out the darkness for a second or two, it makes me feel good.

So smile, laugh and love and we can all make a small bit of difference in someones life :D

I'm a snob!

Yes i am a snob... i went to the opera!

I bet many of you are thinking that opera is boring, well that's what i thought before today. My opinion has changed immensely. Got invited to a higher music workshop with Scottish Opera cause i have cool contacts and it was so much good fun. The understudies of the characters in the Merry Widow ran it and they were so talented and gave very good advice.

Then Sarah and I went to watch the performance tonight and i wasn't going to go but i got a free ticket. And i'm a sucker for a freebie.

It was brilliant tbh and more people should broaden their horizons and try something new....

Thank you......

It was something that was said to me this morning at the meeting at Thurso Salvation Army which made me realise how much i appreciate this girl. I felt i needed to write it down and for her to know how much i value her as a friend. She has been my rock although she probably doesn't know it.

I find it hard to express emotion which some people may find hard to understand seeing as i always talk non stop! However when it comes to serious and personal matters i tend to shy away and bottle it all up. So writing this is hard for me but she is so special i need to get it out in the open.

This girl is of course the one and only Amy Sayer! It all started in 2nd year English when she arrived in our class. The teacher asked who would like to take Amy to lunch and i flung my arm in the air to make sure i got to take her. However and i still regret it now i left her on her own. The reason behind this was my best friend at the time told me that i wasn't allowed to be friends with her because she went to the Salvation Army, i didn't want to lose this friend but then i didn't want to be horrible to Amy. Although this girl turned out to be horrible anyway and only wanted to be friends with me because she had no one else.

I then went through a patch where i drifted from group to group, not knowing who to tag along with. Everyone had their own best friend and i longed for one too but couldn't seem to find this person. However by chance i happened to settle in the group of people who Amy was friends with and we became closer again. The group is mostly the same now apart from some people coming and going. I found it amazing that she could have forgiven me for being so nasty to her when she had no one else. But when i was at my lowest and had no one else. She was there for me.

She included me in everything that was going on at the army and i went to all their social evenings and what like. Then she invited me to Music School 2007 which was strange for me as i was one of the only ones who didn't go to the salvation army. Then she invited me back again this year even though i still did not attend the army.

After Music School 2008 she helped me when i realised that the right move for me was to start attending the Salvation Army on a Sunday and when i was worried what others would think she was there to support me.

We've shared many happy times and some sad. We've had laughs and tears. We've shared food and faith. I just want Amy to know what a difference she has made in my life without realising.

Without you Amy, i would be no further on in my faith than i was three years ago when you came into my life. Imagine if you never came to Thurso..... you must have been sent to look after me :)

Banter...

In a very good mood at this particular point in time....
Its sunny and warm outside, yeah in Thurso!
Its the weekend, so a break from Highers!
Laughing at the banter of the week !

I don't think school would be fun at all if i didn't have all my ace friendies by my side.
They laugh at all my stupid ways....

A Wasp flies towards me and i scream and run away...
Amy shouts to tell me i have bread on my shoulder...
I thought she said Bee....
So i scream some more and run in a circle...
What a huge fool i am!

Im walking towards the bookcase in French to put my folder away...
French teacher grabs me by the arm....
And tells me...
"You will wear a different top tomorrow as i can almost see all of your bosoms!"
I was mortified....

I am so excited about next weekend....
I'm going to see all my music school crew next week....
At the welcome meeting...
Cannot wait :)

Back to school.....

Well we truly have been flung back into school and to be honest it was been a bit of a shock to my system! I was so impressed at my exam results that i was still flying above the clouds and basking in the glory. Then i landed with a dull thud when i had to go back into school for an intensive day of Higher Drama!

Well firstly poor Grindy slept in so we never really started until about 12 and had to work on our investigative drama pieces which is okay... We didn't really do much else just mess about basically.

Then School started for everyone and i think that my choice of doing 6 highers was a bad one. The ammount of homework i have now got is unreal and i have had to leave some after school things just so i can cope with the work load. So many essays already and many will know if i don't get my sleep then i get dead gurny so you'd better watch out.

Although i mean there are the good times like the laughs we have in some classes and break and lunch with the bessies! How Hannah makes me laugh with her funny comments. Elysia and her laughing at every move i make! Then Amy and i sit and reminise about music school and no one else ever knows the people we are talking about! Of course school can be a drag but the friends help it be slightly more interesting!

I must now have a rant about the state of Thurso High School! I mean its not that bad but i hate all the pushing and shoving in the corridors. I mean what is the rush to get to your next class? Its school! Then there are all these 1st years who are taller than me which is so not fair haha xD

Not sure what the future holds or where i want to be in 5 years time. All i know is that i want to leave Thurso and move to the big city. But as long as i have my friends supporting me and a bar of chocolate I'm sure i'll survive :)

Legendary Holidays

These holidays have been a whirlwind adventure and i don't want them to end. They really started in France which was one of the best school trips i have ever been on. What a time we had. Thee cubs - Heather, Katie, Ashleigh, Amy, Angela, Beth and Me. What laughs we had in the airport when i rolled over that old women's toe! She was taking a right freaker. Then the thunder and lightning storm which was pritty scary and then when Laura was taking pictures and the teachers thought there was more lightning! I absolutely loved every minute of it...

Then what next..... Centre Parcs and Cambridge with the Family! That was good fun also. Cycling and swimming, i think that was the healthiest week i have ever had. Never done so much excercise! I love living in a forest and all the wildlife we spotted. A deer, moorhens, geese, swans and ducks! Oh and that rebel squirrel that was tapping at my window with a nut! Then when Dad and i got lost in Knutsford in rush hour traffic and had to back to the hotel in 5 mins. Then we went to the Jools Holland open air concert and i dressed up really fancy and i wore Dad's coat the whole night! Memories.....

Then we have Music School which i already wrote a blog about but i thought i had to mention it again. One of the best experiences of my life! Missing all my mates so much and we have to keep in touch better this year. The banter was incredible and so were every single one of the people. It taught me so much about myself and others around me...

Then Rebecca's Party which was also quite good fun. We went to watch Mamma Mia and i have never laughed quite too much in my entire life! Hephzi singing realli loud and waving her hands in the air and then when it was finished clapping :P Love you all :D

Then we had Elysia's party...... What a laugh! We managed to pin Elysia on a chair and do her hair and make up and she looked realli bonni! Then we had a lot of food and me and hannah say we are keen for elysia's mums pizza haha! Then we went on the quad bike and me and hephzi nearly killed ourselves! We didnt get much sleep but it was fun all the same!

My party i don't think their are words to describe it...... just watch out for me on the trampoline!

I have loved these holidays so much and i never wanted them to end. I met new people and caught up with old friends and i have loved it very much :P

Music School 2008

One of the best weeks of my life so far! We had so many laughs and good times. Of course there were the bad times too but not too many of them. I met so many new people and made some new friends and renewed friendships with old friends.
There was Band of course! Me trying to be all serious and concentrate and Kelston trying to put me off! Then spraying his trombone slide with Pledge and choking us all! George in Shalom! What a legend! That was so funny watching everyone stand up and down cause i only stood up for the last two bars. We played some ace pieces of music and i think we sounded pretty darn good. If i don't say so myself! There was of course the ongoing battle between vocal and band but only friendly competition. Although i must say band is better!!!
Then Stream 2 drama. Night Light Kids! Only 6 of us but there was some laughs had! Tim and his plastic golf clubs. People who could not interupt at the right time, word pronunciation, Helen and my cheesy lines and Captain Strech O! Good times! Good times! We definately pulled it off at the final festival! Thanks guys for making it so much fun!
Elective Handicrafts was good too, although we were all quite quiet until the last day! Made lots of nice jewellery and such like! Although i must say Amy is much better than me at making things! This is where i met Sandi! She is too cool.
I could write a book about Bible group. This was the best ever. Mandy, Mark, Amy, Susan, Sarah, Samantha and me! Everyone laughing at me cause i couldn't find the pages fast enough. Sweeties and those horrible sour marshmallows! Learned so much, and had fun at the same time! Of course i am a bit slow so had to copy Amy or Susan's answers but the crack was ace! Love the photo we got taken at the ceilidh, will cherish it forever and ever.

Then of course there is the out of stream and bible group banter! The mischief we got up to was legandary. Amy, Susan and i hiding in Christines Cupboard! We were just checking out the interior design haha! Of course everyone else got found not guilty apart from me! I was the ringleader supposedly! Then sneaking in through the trapdoor in dorm 6 into the leaders room. Sitting in their beds with their pjs on and tights on our heads. That made them laugh! Cindy's face was a picture.

Over the week i made new friends and renewed friendships with old ones! I just want to thank all those people who were there for me over the week. Little shout out to Susan for being a good friend and comforting me when i was blowing my nose in her shoulder lol! Amy for inviting me to music school for the second year and her dad for giving me a lift and putting up with my constant noise for a week. To Kelston, Cindy and all the staff for organising a fabulous week. To Mark and Mandy for being brilliant Bible teachers and helping me understand a lot olf unanswered question! Also thanks to Matthew for driving me to the hospital when i fell down the stairs and for pushing me in the wheelchair. Although i think he quite enjoyed it. Also Mandy for lookingafter me in the hospital and making me laugh! I can't say thank you any more than i have! I really enjoyed myself and my gratitude cannot be put into words! Lastly i thought i better mention him! Thanks to Callum for being Callum.